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Joke Topic - 'Accidents' - 9 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 9 jokes on the topic - 'Accidents'.
A car was involved in an accident on a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered. A lawyer, anxious to make money from the accident, could not get near the car. Being such a smart guy, he started shouting, 'Let me through! Let me through! I'm the son of the victim.' The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
A man was seriously injured in a car accident, severely damaging his legs. As soon as the emergency room doctor examined him, he knew that one of the man's legs must be amputated. He was rushed to surgery, where, due to an administrative error, his good leg was amputated. The mistake was discovered when the man was in the recovery room, so he was returned to surgery, and the bad leg was removed.
When the man found out what had happened from a nurse who was present during the entire procedure, the man decided to sue the doctor and the hospital. He consulted the best attorney in town, who, after going over the man's claim, advised him against seeking damages.
'What,' the man exclaimed, 'this is the most clear-cut case of outright negligence I have ever heard of.'
'That may be true,' the lawyer replied, 'but frankly, you don't have a leg to stand on.'
When the man found out what had happened from a nurse who was present during the entire procedure, the man decided to sue the doctor and the hospital. He consulted the best attorney in town, who, after going over the man's claim, advised him against seeking damages.
'What,' the man exclaimed, 'this is the most clear-cut case of outright negligence I have ever heard of.'
'That may be true,' the lawyer replied, 'but frankly, you don't have a leg to stand on.'
An elderly couple tragically lost their lives in an accident and were being guided on a heavenly tour by Saint Peter. This is your beachfront condo; the tennis courts, pool, and two golf courses are located over there. If you require any refreshments, feel free to visit any of the conveniently situated bars.
'Oh, Gloria,' the old man whispered when Saint Peter walked away, 'we could have arrived here ten years earlier if you hadn't insisted on all those oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!'
'Oh, Gloria,' the old man whispered when Saint Peter walked away, 'we could have arrived here ten years earlier if you hadn't insisted on all those oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!'
Lawyer: "And just how far were you from the accident when it took place?"
Witness: "Eighteen feet, two and a half inches."
Lawyer: "Oh, come now! How can you be so exact?"
Witness: "I knew some stupid idiot would ask me so I measured it."
Witness: "Eighteen feet, two and a half inches."
Lawyer: "Oh, come now! How can you be so exact?"
Witness: "I knew some stupid idiot would ask me so I measured it."
My wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning. She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting that she had backed it in the night before.
One of the drivers is sprawled and injured on the side of the road following a car accident. A police officer advised, "Don't worry; a Red Cross nurse is on her way to assist you."
"Oh no," the victim moaned, "don't you think it would be possible for me to have a blonde and happy one?"
"Oh no," the victim moaned, "don't you think it would be possible for me to have a blonde and happy one?"
Prevent accidents
- start doing things on purpose
- start doing things on purpose
This nurse was learning first aid. The sister said, 'Nurse, imagine a man's been brought in after an accident and he's bleeding badly. What's the first thing you'd do?'
The nurse said. 'Faint.'
The nurse said. 'Faint.'
What do you get when a dinosaur has a car accident?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.