Home / Scottish Jokes and Humour / Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 9
Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 9
Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.
This is page 9 of 9. Showing jokes 81 to 83
A Scotsman was on a fishing trip in the northwoods of Canada. "What's that over yonder'?" the Scotsman asked of his guide.
"That's a moose, eh," said the guide.
"Aye!" exclaimed the Scotsman, with raised eyebrow. "If that be a moose, I'd be sure an to hate to see your rats!"
"That's a moose, eh," said the guide.
"Aye!" exclaimed the Scotsman, with raised eyebrow. "If that be a moose, I'd be sure an to hate to see your rats!"
A Scot from Aberdeen was on holiday in London and every night he returned to his hotel full of the wonders of the city. So much so that another guest asked: 'Is this your first visit?'
'Aye, it is.'
'You seem to be having a great time.'
'Aye, I am that.'
'Good.'
'And what's more, it's not just a holiday. It's my honeymoon as well.'
'Oh. Then where's your wife?'
'Och. She's been here before.'
'Aye, it is.'
'You seem to be having a great time.'
'Aye, I am that.'
'Good.'
'And what's more, it's not just a holiday. It's my honeymoon as well.'
'Oh. Then where's your wife?'
'Och. She's been here before.'
Hear about the skeleton that wore a kilt?
It was Boney Prince Charlie.
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
Lawyers
Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
From chasing parked ambulances.
Cafeteria
Bacteria: The rear portion of the cafeteria!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
One-eye.
One-eye who?
You're the one-eye cannot stand.
Who's there?
One-eye.
One-eye who?
You're the one-eye cannot stand.
Witches
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.
A sand-witch.
Government
The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell outof a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
A pool table.