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Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 9

Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.

This is page 9 of 9. Showing jokes 81 to 83

Scottish Jokes and Humour
A Scotsman was on a fishing trip in the northwoods of Canada. "What's that over yonder'?" the Scotsman asked of his guide.
"That's a moose, eh," said the guide.
"Aye!" exclaimed the Scotsman, with raised eyebrow. "If that be a moose, I'd be sure an to hate to see your rats!"
Scottish Jokes and Humour
A Scot from Aberdeen was on holiday in London and every night he returned to his hotel full of the wonders of the city. So much so that another guest asked: 'Is this your first visit?'
'Aye, it is.'
'You seem to be having a great time.'
'Aye, I am that.'
'And what's more, it's not just a holiday. It's my honeymoon as well.'
'Oh. Then where's your wife?'
'Och. She's been here before.'
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Hear about the skeleton that wore a kilt? It was Boney Prince Charlie.

Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories


Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.


Bacteria: The rear portion of the cafeteria!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
One-eye who?
You're the one-eye cannot stand.


What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.


The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell outof a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

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