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Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 3
Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.
This is page 3 of 9. Showing jokes 21 to 30
A herd of highland cows are standing in a field in Scotland.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
Which famous Scottish poet is really setting the place on fire?
Robert Burns.
Robert Burns.
Did you hear about the new Scottish football team whose players don't know each other?
They're called Glasgow Strangers.
They're called Glasgow Strangers.
What is very smelly, and is spoken in the highlands of Scotland?
Garlic.
Garlic.
What do Scottish owls sing?
Owld Lang Syne.
Owld Lang Syne.
What is the definition of a true Scottish gentleman?
A Scotsman who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
A Scotsman who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
How was the Grand Canyon in America formed?
A Scotsman was there on holiday and dropped a dime.
A Scotsman was there on holiday and dropped a dime.
Why are Scotsmen such good golfers?
They know that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last.
They know that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last.
Did you hear that yesterday all the men in Glasgow were standing outside holding an empty whisky glass?
The weather forecast said that there was going to be a nip in the air.
The weather forecast said that there was going to be a nip in the air.
Did you hear about the man in Edinburgh who was selling his dog?
An American offered him 500 pounds for it and an Englishman offered him 50 pounds.
Even though the American had offered more, he decided to sell it to the Englishman, because he thought it might be able to walk back to Edinburgh from England, but it could never swim the Atlantic.
An American offered him 500 pounds for it and an Englishman offered him 50 pounds.
Even though the American had offered more, he decided to sell it to the Englishman, because he thought it might be able to walk back to Edinburgh from England, but it could never swim the Atlantic.