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Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 3


Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.
Jokes about the Scots

This is page 3 of 8. Showing jokes 21 to 30

Scottish Jokes and Humour
What is very smelly, and is spoken in the highlands of Scotland?
Garlic.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
What do Scottish owls sing?
Owld Lang Syne.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
What is the definition of a true Scottish gentleman?
A Scotsman who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
How was the Grand Canyon in America formed?
A Scotsman was there on holiday and dropped a dime.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Why are Scotsmen such good golfers?
They know that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Did you hear that yesterday all the men in Glasgow were standing outside holding an empty whisky glass?
The weather forecast said that there was going to be a nip in the air.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Did you hear about the man in Edinburgh who was selling his dog?
An American offered him 500 pounds for it and an Englishman offered him 50 pounds.
Even though the American had offered more, he decided to sell it to the Englishman, because he thought it might be able to walk back to Edinburgh from England, but it could never swim the Atlantic.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
You know it must be summer when you see Hamish throwing his Christmas tree away.
Submitted by: Brian
Scottish Jokes and Humour
What did the pine tree say to his girlfriend?
I'm fir you.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Two Scottish characters, Hamish and Jimmy were sitting talking. Hamish pulled out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.
"That's a fine watch you got there!" says Jimmy.
"Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says Hamish.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed".

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