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Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 2


Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.
Scottish humor - bagpipes

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Scottish Jokes and Humour
Did you hear about the Scotsman who was arrested by the police. They charged him with breaking into a five-pound note.
However, they let him go with just a warning as it was his first offence.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Did you hear about the Scottish father who had a dilemma? His son wanted a dog and his daughter wanted a cat. He felt that having a cat and a dog would be too expensive. So he bought a cat and taught it to bark!
Scottish Jokes and Humour
McTavish arrived at the gates of Heaven and demanded that he be admitted.
"Where are you from?" asked St Peter.
"Scotland," said McTavish proudly.
"Away with you," said St Peter. "We couldn't possibly cook haggis for just one!"
Submitted by: Will
Scottish Jokes and Humour
What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A Macaw.
Submitted by: JJ
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Doctor: So what is Hamish complaining about now?>
Nurse: He says that he recovered before all his medicine was finished so he wants a refund on the cost of his prescription.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
What did one highland cow say to the other one?
Och aye the moo.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
What do you call a Scotsman with a castle on his head?
Fort William.
Scottish Jokes and Humour
Hamish walks into a posh Scottish restaurant and the waiter says: "Canap´┐Ż for you sir?"
So Hamish says: "That's very generous of you. I'll have the lobster."
Scottish Jokes and Humour
How did the Scottish dog feel when it saw the Loch Ness monster?
Terrier-fied.
Submitted by: Billy
Scottish Jokes and Humour
How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Och! It's no that dark.

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