The Most Recently Added Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 8

Jokes About Christmas

Two idiots traveled deep into the forest searching for a Christmas tree. After many hours in the deep snow and biting wind, one idiot turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether or not its decorated!"

Jokes About Christmas

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit very carefully, it's a Christmas present!

Jokes About Christmas

Gary hands his girlfriend a small package on Christmas morning, the size of a jewelry box. She gets incredibly excited and rips the package open to find just a pack of playing cards.
"What on earth is this?" she yells and throws the pack of cards at Gary.
"Why did you do that?" Gary responds. "You said all you wanted for Christmas was something with diamonds in it!"

Jokes About Christmas

What is a skunk's favorite Christmas song?
Jingle Smells.

Jokes About Christmas

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve?
Well, that wraps it up for another year.

Jokes About Christmas

Why are Christmas trees just like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles.

Miscellaneous Jokes

If yesterday was today - today would be yesterday.

Miscellaneous Jokes

I don't think crazy paving is all that its cracked up to be.

Jokes About Lawyers

Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."

Miscellaneous Jokes

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot better than the penalty for murder.