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Medical Jokes - Page 2


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about the medical profession.

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Medical Jokes
My friend just fell in love with the head nurse at the hospital where he is - I guess you can say that he's taken a turn for the nurse!
Submitted by: Brian
Medical Jokes
John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.
Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough."
Medical Jokes
I had quite an experience today. I was in the mall parking lot and there was this woman getting in her car. She was about to close the door when this other woman tried to park beside her and hit her car, slamming the door on her foot. I ran over to see what I could do to help. The door had completely severed the woman's big toe off. I tried to stop the bleeding as much as I could, then ran to the phone and called an ambulance. The ambulance arrived and as the paramedics were stuffing her into the ambulance I asked one of the paramedics "Aren't you going to take her toe along so the doctor can sew it back on?". "Nope", said the paramedic, "you need to call a toe truck for that."
Medical Jokes
A man was seriously injured in a car accident, severely damaging his legs. As soon as the emergency room doctor examined him, he knew the one of the man's legs must be amputated. He was taken to surgery, where, due to an administrative error, the good leg was amputated. The mistake was discovered while the man was in the recovery room, so he was taken back into surgery and the bad leg also amputated.
When the man found out what had happened from a nurse who was present during the entire procedure, the man decided to sue the doctor and the hospital. He consulted the best attorney in town, who, after going over the man's claim, advised him against seeking damages.
"What," the man exclaimed, "this is the most clear cut case of outright negligence I have ever heard of."
"That may be true," the lawyer replied, "but frankly you don't have a leg to stand on."
Medical Jokes
Where do gnomes go to when they're feeling ill?
The National Elf Service.


Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.

Barbers

What do you call a barber who cuts hair in a library?
A barbarian!!

Rock

What do you call a rock group with Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Handel, and Chopin?
The Decomposers.

Witches

How does a witch know what time it is?
With witch watch.

Kitten

Patient: I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.

Deaf

My great uncle Morris died of deafness. He was so deaf he didn't hear the roadroller coming.

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