Why is a book like a king?
Because they both have pages.
What did the big candle say to the little candle?
You're pretty bright for such a little guy!
Why is an old car like a baby?
Because it always has a rattle.
What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Slippers.
What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
What do you give to an injured bird?
Tweetment.
What kind of bulbs should you never water?
Light bulbs.
How do fleas go on vacation?
They itchhike.
What did the rake say to the garden hoe?
Hi, hoe!
Who has large antlers, a high voice, and always wears white gloves?
Mickey Moose.
How do fish get to school?
They go by octobus.
Which large ape is very smelly?
King Pong.