Jokes For Children - 11

My brother was banging his. head on a brick wall. I said, 'What're you doing that for?'
He said, 'Because it's a lovely feeling when I stop.'

My sister went to first aid lessons. They said, 'What's the first thing you'd do if a man was blown up by dynamite?'
My sister said, 'Wait for him to come down.'

My brother came running in He said, 'Mum, there's a man outside with a broken arm called Brian.'
My mum said, 'That's a funny name for a broken arm.'

This bloke said to my brother, 'I think I'm a clock you know.'
My brother said, 'Well don't get wound up about it.'

This bloke said to my brother, 'My trouble is I keep thinking I'm a strawberry.'
My brother said, 'You're in a jam then aren't you.'

The man said, 'My problem is I keep stealing things.'
My brother said, 'You'd better take something for that.'

My friend said, 'That bloke over there thinks he's a pack of cards.'
My brother said, 'I'll have to deal with him later.'

John said, 'That bloke up at the tea counter thinks he's a snooker ball.'
My brother said, 'Ah, so that's why he's at the end of the queue.

My dad said, 'My leg, my leg, it's agony.' My mum said, 'That's entirely due to old age.'
My dad said, 'Well my other leg's just as old and that doesn't hurt.'

My brother read a book about Davy Crockett.
He said, 'Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?'
I said, 'No, I didn't.'
He said, 'Well he did you know. He had a right ear, a left ear and a wild frontear.'