Jokes For Children - 10

My dad said to me, 'Son, today I fought off the powers of darkness.'
I said, 'How did you do that?'
He said, 'I paid the electricity bill.'

This kid said to me, 'My dad can beat your dad up.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'

My brother said, 'Did you know about the wild men of Borneo who have no tongues?'
I said, 'No tongues? How can they talk?'
He said, 'They can't. That's what drives them wild.'

My brother got thrown out of the zoo last week. I said, 'Why was that?'
He said, 'I fed the monkeys.'
I said, 'You got thrown out of the zoo for feeding the monkeys?'
He said, 'Yes, I fed them to the lions.'

This aborigine came running up to his mum. He said, 'Mum, my brother's been hit on the head by his boomerang.'
His mum said, 'The naughty boy! 1 told him to throw that boomerang away.'
The kid said, 'He did, but it came back.'

I used to hate my brother when we were kids. One year my mum said, 'Do you know it's his birthday tomorrow?'
I said, 'Thanks for telling me I'll give him my whooping cough.'

The other day my dad leapt eight feet in the air. I said, 'Dad, I didn't know you were a high-jumper.'
He said, 'I'm not. Your mum dropped the iron on my foot.'

This vicar said, 'I like graveyards. They're never deserted.'
The sexton said, 'Really Father, why's that?'
The vicar said, 'Well there's always some body there.'

This antique dealer was trying to sell a man a skull. He said, 'It's Oliver Cromwell's skull you know.'
The man said, 'It can't be, it's not big enough.'
The dealer said, 'It's Cromwell's skull when he was a little boy.'

There were these two eggs in the monastery frying pan. One said to the other, 'You know something? Any minute now it's going to be out of the frying pan into the friar.'