This is page 2 of 2. Showing jokes 11 to 14
Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that
bend I thought, "Forty-five at least".'
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail. She increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail. She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90, drawing rapidly away from her pursuer. Suddenly she
saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the forecourt and dashed into the ladies' toilet. Five
minutes later she emerged to find the motor-cycle policeman waiting for her. With a sweet smile she said, 'I bet you thought
I'd never make it in time.'
My wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning. She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting
that the night before, she had backed it in.
Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Faye.
Faye who?
Fayeding away.
Reindeer
Which reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
Optician
Did you hear about the cross-eyed optician?
He could never see eye to eye with his patients.
Woodpeckers
My uncle said, 'I've got this woodpecker with no beak. What shall I call him?'
I said, 'A headbanger.
Squash
What is the noisiest game?
Squash - because you can't play it without raising a
racquet!
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
A dog that has somewhere to store its own lead.
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