This is page 2 of 2. Showing jokes 11 to 14
Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that
bend I thought, "Forty-five at least".'
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail. She increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail. She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90, drawing rapidly away from her pursuer. Suddenly she
saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the forecourt and dashed into the ladies' toilet. Five
minutes later she emerged to find the motor-cycle policeman waiting for her. With a sweet smile she said, 'I bet you thought
I'd never make it in time.'
My wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning. She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting
that the night before, she had backed it in.
Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Girlfriends
GILLIE: Will I lose my looks as I get older?
WILLIE: With luck, yes.
Astronauts
How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
You rock-et.
Multitasking
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
London
Did you hear about the man from London who became very thirsty when he went to visit his relatives in Vancouver?
He drank Canada Dry.
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