Jokes About Sports - Page 2

Why did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it.

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."
Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.
The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."
The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."
The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"
The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."
The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."
They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan, because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.
Just then he walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

Old skiers never die. They just go downhill.

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened.
"So, how did you do, son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."

A little girl went to the Judge and asked to be taken away from her parents ...
Judge: "Little girl, don't you want to live with your Mommy?"
Little Girl: "No, my Mommy beats me."
Judge: "Little girl, don't you want to live with your Daddy?"
Little Girl: "No, my Daddy beats me too."
Judge: "Well little girl, who do you want to live with?"
Little Girl: "I want to live with the Cubs because they never beat anyone!"

All the best chess players were at a big tournament. They hung out for the first hour in the hallway, bragging to each other about all their recent victories. Suddenly, the hotel manager threw them all out of the hallway. When asked why, he replied: "I hate chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!"

The whole family was grouped round the television watching an international rugby match and the English full- back once again failed to intercept the opposing wing, who streaked home for his twentieth try. 'That full-back,' said the father, 'he's useless. I don't know why they let him play for the side at all.' 'Well,' said his five-year-old son, 'perhaps it's his ball.'

Good morning, doctor.'
'Good morning. What's the trouble?'
My shins, doctor. Look.'
'Good heavens. They're all hacked to pieces. Looks as if everyone's been kicking you. What have you been playing - soccer or rugby?'
'Bridge.'

This trainer came up to this boxer. He said, 'Are you ready for another fight?'
The boxer said, 'Just a bout.'