Home / Jokes About Soccer - Page 1
Jokes About Soccer - Page 1
Here are some jokes about soccer (or football if you're British). There are 12 jokes in this category.
This is page 1 of 2. Showing jokes 1 to 10
Why can't a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Because it only has one boot.
What does a soccer player and a magician have in common?
They both like hat tricks.
They both like hat tricks.
Football is only a game - until your team loses.
What do pigs like to do when they play soccer?
Hog the ball.
Hog the ball.
Customer: Do you sell football boots?
Store Assistant: Sure. What size is your football?
Store Assistant: Sure. What size is your football?
Billy: I can't believe I just missed that open goal. I could kick myself.
Johnny: Don't: bother, you'd probably miss.
Johnny: Don't: bother, you'd probably miss.
Where do footballers dance?
At a football.
At a football.
How did the soccer field end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner.
Somebody took a corner.
What do you get if you cross a football team with a bunch of crazy jokers?
Mad jester united.
Mad jester united.
A soccer fan took his new girlfriend to a match for the first time, and answered all her questions as she inquired about the function of every player.
'And what's that man in front of the net?' she asked.
'He's the goal-keeper.'
'And what does he do?'
'He has to keep the ball from going in the net.'
'Ah. And how much is he paid?'
'Oh, about 2000 pounds a week.'
'Oh,' said the girl, 'wouldn't it be cheaper to board it up?'
'And what's that man in front of the net?' she asked.
'He's the goal-keeper.'
'And what does he do?'
'He has to keep the ball from going in the net.'
'Ah. And how much is he paid?'
'Oh, about 2000 pounds a week.'
'Oh,' said the girl, 'wouldn't it be cheaper to board it up?'