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Jokes About Soccer - Page 1

Here are some jokes about soccer (or football if you're British). There are 12 jokes in this category.

This is page 1 of 2. Showing jokes 1 to 10

Jokes About Soccer
Why can't a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Jokes About Soccer
What does a soccer player and a magician have in common?
They both like hat tricks.
Jokes About Soccer
Football is only a game - until your team loses.
Jokes About Soccer
What do pigs like to do when they play soccer?
Hog the ball.
Jokes About Soccer
Customer: Do you sell football boots?
Store Assistant: Sure. What size is your football?
Jokes About Soccer
Billy: I can't believe I just missed that open goal. I could kick myself.
Johnny: Don't: bother, you'd probably miss.
Jokes About Soccer
Where do footballers dance?
At a football.
Jokes About Soccer
How did the soccer field end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner.
Jokes About Soccer
What do you get if you cross a football team with a bunch of crazy jokers?
Mad jester united.
Jokes About Soccer
A soccer fan took his new girlfriend to a match for the first time, and answered all her questions as she inquired about the function of every player.
'And what's that man in front of the net?' she asked.
'He's the goal-keeper.'
'And what does he do?'
'He has to keep the ball from going in the net.'
'Ah. And how much is he paid?'
'Oh, about 2000 pounds a week.'
'Oh,' said the girl, 'wouldn't it be cheaper to board it up?'

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