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Diner: Waiter, I can't eat this soup.
Waiter: I'll get the manager, sir.
Diner: Manager, I can’t eat this soup.
Manager: Sorry, sir. I'll get the chef.
Diner: Chef, I can't eat this soup.
Chef: What's wrong with it?
Diner: Nothing - I haven't got a spoon.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry - he won't drink much.
Diner: Waiter, your thumb is on my steak. Remove it right now!
Waiter: What, and drop it again?
Diner: Waiter, your thumb is in my chicken soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, it's not very hot.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food.
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens in a supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked on of the staff, "Do these chickens get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
What does a skeleton usually order when he has a meal in a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
Waiter, waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig.'
'Very good sir. I'll go and get you some that is.'
A sign in the window of a restaurant: "Eat now - Pay waiter."
Diner: Waiter! This soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing?
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