Jokes About Restaurants & Food - Page 9

Diner. 'This piece of cod isn't nearly so nice as the piece I had here a few weeks ago.'
- Absent minded Waiter. 'It ought to be sir, it's from the same fish.'

My brother was in a restaurant. He said, 'Waiter, why is this pie squashed?'
The waiter said 'Well sir, you said "I want a pie, and step on it".'

My brother was in a restaurant. He said to the waiter, 'You said this was the dish of the day.'
The waiter said, 'It was sir. One day last year.

My uncle went to a restaurant, and there was this waitress scratching herself. He said, 'Tell me have you got eczema?'
She said, 'Not if it's not on the menu.'

Waiter, waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Well you did order bird's nest soup, sir.

Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
The breast stroke, sir.

Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir but I have smoked a pipe.

Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, waiter what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special.

Waiter, waiter, do they ever change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.