Jokes About Restaurants & Food - Page 2

Waiter: And what will you have to follow your main course, sir?
Diner: Most likely indigestion.

Diner: How's your chicken soup today?
Waiter: It's pretty fowl.

Diner: Waiter, can you put this meal on my credit card?
Waiter: Sorry, sir. But I don't think it'll fit.

Diner: Excuse me, but will my burger be long?
Waiter: No, sir. it'll be round.

Customer: Waiter, there is there a small bug in my salad?
Waiter: l'm terribly sorry. Would you like me to get you a bigger one?

Diner: Waiter, these eggs are runny.
Waiter: Why do you say that, sir?
Because one just ran out the door.

Diner: Waiter, the chicken you served me is nothing but skin and bones.
Waiter: Just a minute, sir. I'll bring you some feathers.

Diner: Can you ask the chef if he has pigs' feet.
Waiter: Not me. I want to keep this job.

I went to a restaurant the other day and had a businessman's lunch...the businessman was furious about that.

When Brian, a waiter who had worked in the same restaurant for many years, passed away, his wife was heartbroken with grief. She tried various spiritualists to try and get in touch with her husband. But nothing worked.
One day her nephew came for a visit. She explained how much she wanted to contact Brian. Her nephew thought the ghost of her husband might be haunting the restaurant in which he worked for so many years. The wife went to the restaurant, sat down at a table and called, "Brian, Brian, where are you?"
Suddenly, a voice replied, "Here I am."
"Brian, can you please speak a little louder?" she said. "I can barely hear you."
"Sorry, but I can't," Brian answered.
"Well, then, can you come a little closer," his wife begged him
"Impossible," Brian replied. "That's not my table."