Jokes About Pigs - Page 2

What should do you do for a pig that has a sore leg?
Rub it with oinkment.

How does a pig write home?
With a pig pen.

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
Because it came out of the pen.

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig.

A man was out for a walk one day and on his travels he wandered through a farm. Strangely, he saw a pig with a wooden leg! This intrigued him so much he found the farmer and quizzed him about it.
"This be no ordinary pig" said the farmer. "For example, only two days ago there was a fire in the chicken shed when I was away from the farm. The pig noticed this and immediately went and let all the chickens out into the yard. He then phoned for the fire brigade and came straight back to hold the fire until they arrived!"
"And a few weeks ago, I was driving my tractor down a steep hill, when I lost control and the vehicle overturned - knocking me unconscious! The pig saw this, phoned for the ambulance and then rushed to the tractor and pulled me clear of the cab just before it set on fire."
The farmer was just about to launch into another tale when the man said "Yes yes, but what about the wooden leg?"
"Well" said the farmer "when you've got an pig as good as that, you don't eat it all at once!"

My uncle keeps a pig under his bed. I said, 'What about the smell?'
My uncle said, 'He doesn't mind that.'