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Jokes About Pets - Page 2

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about pets.

This is page 2 of 3. Showing jokes 11 to 20

Jokes About Pets
Where does Quasimodo keep his pet rabbit?
In a hutch, back of Notre Dame.
Jokes About Pets
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
Jokes About Pets
A man at an auction sale started bidding for a parrot. The bidding went higher and higher, but finally the man bought the bird. Then he realised that he didn't even know if it could talk, so he asked the auctioneer.
"Of course it can talk," he replied. "Who do you think was bidding against you?"
Jokes About Pets
Ever notice that when the doorbell rings, the dog's the first one to the door, but it's never for him?
Jokes About Pets
Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
One day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"
Jokes About Pets
Sally: I've lost my dog.
Allie: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Sally: That wouldn't help. My dog can't read.
Jokes About Pets
Please help me find my lost dog. Here is his description:
One eye
Three legs
Ears chewed off
Broken tail
Answers to the name "Lucky"
Jokes About Pets
If Fairbanks Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs, what would it be called?
Dogless Fairbanks!
Jokes About Pets
For protection, my father bought me a German Shepherd dog. He was a wonderful watchdog. One evening while I was being held up, he watched.
Jokes About Pets
This guy buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks in a pleasant voice "Can you talk?" This goes on for weeks with absolutely no response from the bird. Finally one morning, totally fed up, he shouts "CAN YOU TALK, YOU STUPID CREATURE? CAN YOU TALK?"
The bird looks him in the eye and says "I can talk, all right. Can you fly?"

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