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Jokes About Parrots - 14 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Parrots never fail to make us smile, whether it's through their playful behaviors or their astonishing precision in mimicking our speech. Be prepared to laugh so loud at these funny jokes that you will squawk! There are 14 jokes in this category.
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This man went to the pet shop to buy a red parrot. The pet shop man said, 'I'm sorry, we've only got a blue one, but if you like, I'll give you a pot of red paint, and you can take him home and paint him.'
The man said, 'Great,' and off he went with the parrot and the pot of red paint.
The next day he came back. He said, 'Hey, that parrot's dead.
The pet shop man said, 'I don't believe it. There's no way a pot of red paint would kill a parrot.'
The man said, 'No, it wasn't the red paint that killed him. It was trying to get the blue paint off with a blowlamp!'
The man said, 'Great,' and off he went with the parrot and the pot of red paint.
The next day he came back. He said, 'Hey, that parrot's dead.
The pet shop man said, 'I don't believe it. There's no way a pot of red paint would kill a parrot.'
The man said, 'No, it wasn't the red paint that killed him. It was trying to get the blue paint off with a blowlamp!'
What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.
The parrots of Penzance.
What did the parakeet say when he finished shopping?
Just put it on my bill.
Just put it on my bill.
This man purchases a parrot. He asks, "Can you talk?" every morning as he stands in front of the cage in a kind voice. Weeks pass with no reaction at all from the bird during this time. Eventually, one morning, he yells, "CAN YOU TALK, YOU STUPID CREATURE?" out of sheer frustration. "Are you able to speak?"
The bird looks him in the eye and says, 'I can talk, all right. Can you fly?'
The bird looks him in the eye and says, 'I can talk, all right. Can you fly?'
A long time ago, a cruise liner was out at sea. Some passengers were treated to a magic performance by an onboard performer. A parrot was always perched on the magician's shoulder. The parrot had a knack for spoiling the magician's tricks. At one point, the magician held a knife; he just turned it around, and it vanished! The parrot said, 'It's in his pocket, it's in his pocket.' The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did was to wave a wand around, and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, 'It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!' The magician got mad because he couldn't keep his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
One day, the cruise ship sank. Finally, the magician and the parrot got to an island, where they stayed for three months. Suddenly, the parrot spoke up and asked: "All right, I give up!" "Where did you hide the ship?"
One day, the cruise ship sank. Finally, the magician and the parrot got to an island, where they stayed for three months. Suddenly, the parrot spoke up and asked: "All right, I give up!" "Where did you hide the ship?"
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room, but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, 'Jesus is watching you!'
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward.
'Jesus is watching you,' the voice boomed again.
The frightened burglar stopped dead. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage, and there was a parrot in the cage.
He asked the parrot, 'Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?'
'Yes', replied the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, 'What's your name?'
'Clarence,' said the bird.
'That's a dumb name for a parrot,' sneered the burglar. 'What idiot named you Clarence?'
The parrot said, 'The same idiot who named the Doberman Jesus.'
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward.
'Jesus is watching you,' the voice boomed again.
The frightened burglar stopped dead. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage, and there was a parrot in the cage.
He asked the parrot, 'Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?'
'Yes', replied the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, 'What's your name?'
'Clarence,' said the bird.
'That's a dumb name for a parrot,' sneered the burglar. 'What idiot named you Clarence?'
The parrot said, 'The same idiot who named the Doberman Jesus.'
A man at an auction sale started bidding for a parrot. The bidding went higher and higher, but finally, the man bought the bird. Then he realized he didn't know if it could talk, so he asked the auctioneer.
'Of course it can talk,' he replied. 'Who do you think was bidding against you?'
'Of course it can talk,' he replied. 'Who do you think was bidding against you?'
This big, brawny, dark-skinned Latin guy walks into a bar. On his shoulder is a beautiful blue-and-red parrot. The bartender says, admiringly, 'That's beautiful. Where'd you get it?'
and the parrot says, 'Down in Mexico, there are millions of 'em!'
and the parrot says, 'Down in Mexico, there are millions of 'em!'
What do you give a sick parrot?
Tweetment.
Tweetment.
What do you call the place where parrots go to make movies?
Pollywood.
Pollywood.
One day, George brought home a parrot as a birthday gift for his wife. A string was attached to each parrot's legs.
'What are the strings for?' inquired his wife.
'Pull one - and see,' her husband said.
She pulled the string on the right leg, and the parrot said, 'Happy birthday!'
Then she pulled the string on the other leg, and the parrot said, 'Pleased to meet you.'
'I wonder what will happen if I pull both strings at once.'
'I'll fall off my perch, you stupid idiot,' said the parrot.
'What are the strings for?' inquired his wife.
'Pull one - and see,' her husband said.
She pulled the string on the right leg, and the parrot said, 'Happy birthday!'
Then she pulled the string on the other leg, and the parrot said, 'Pleased to meet you.'
'I wonder what will happen if I pull both strings at once.'
'I'll fall off my perch, you stupid idiot,' said the parrot.
A very lonely lady bought a parrot from a pet store, complete with a cage. Before purchasing it, she got a guarantee that the parrot would talk. She took the parrot home. In a week and a half, she returned to the store very disappointed.
'The parrot doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a mirror?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a mirror. 'So she installed a mirror in the parrot's cage. Another week and a half went by, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a ladder?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a ladder.' So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a swing?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a swing. 'So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. A week and a half later, she returned. She was furious!
The store owner asked, 'Did the parrot talk?'
'No! he died.'
'Oh, that's terrible. But did he say anything before he died?'
'Yes.'' What?'
'He gasped. 'Don't they have any food down at that pet store?''
'The parrot doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a mirror?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a mirror. 'So she installed a mirror in the parrot's cage. Another week and a half went by, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a ladder?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a ladder.' So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a swing?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a swing. 'So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. A week and a half later, she returned. She was furious!
The store owner asked, 'Did the parrot talk?'
'No! he died.'
'Oh, that's terrible. But did he say anything before he died?'
'Yes.'' What?'
'He gasped. 'Don't they have any food down at that pet store?''