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Jokes About Marriage - Page 12


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

This is page 12 of 12. Showing jokes 111 to 115

Jokes About Marriage
'Tell me, young man,' said the father to his prospective son-in-law, 'if my daughter marries you, and I give her a substantial dowry, what have you to offer her in return?' 'I'll give you a receipt.'
Jokes About Marriage
A drunken man at a party went up to a strange woman and embraced her clumsily. She slapped his face. 'I'm so sorry,' he said, 'I thought you were my wife.' 'Huh,' said the woman, 'You'd be a fine husband to have. Just look at you - a drunken, clumsy, disgusting brute.' 'Good heavens,' said the drunk, 'you talk like her, too.'
Jokes About Marriage
A man came back from a party very drunk and just as he was creeping in by the front door he heard his wife moving upstairs. 'Oh - oh,' he thought, 'she mustn't think I've been drinking. I know, I'll pretend I've been reading all evening.' So he put the plan into action, went into the sitting-room and sat down. After a few minutes the door opened and his wife peered in. 'What do you think you're doing?' she asked. 'Reading, dear, just reading.' 'Shut up, you drunken idiot,' said the wife. 'Now close that suitcase and come to bed.'
Jokes About Marriage
This farmer said to his wife, 'We've been married fifty years. Why don't we kill the chicken tonight?'.
His wife said, 'Why kill the chicken? It's not his fault?'
Jokes About Marriage
This man went to the doctor's with some airgun pellets in his bottom. The doctor said, 'You'll have to go into hospital with that. Your wife'll miss you.' The man said, 'She didn't miss me this morning.'


Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Cows

Why can't you shock cows?
Because they've herd it all before.

Doughnuts

Old doughnut makers never die, they just get tired of the whole business.

Scottish

What is very smelly, and is spoken in the highlands of Scotland?
Garlic.

Kings

When Henry VIII came to the throne what was the first thing he did?
He sat down.

Doctors

Doctor, doctor! I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there.

Birds

What did the parakeet say when he finished shopping?
Just put it on my bill.

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