What is the longest sentence known to man?
'I do.'
Bill: Why do you want to be buried at sea?
Fred: Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.
Their marriage is based on trust and understanding.
She doesn't trust him, and he can't understand her.
Mary: I've been asked to get married lots of times.
Jane: Who asked you?
Mary: My parents.
Jill: When are you thinking about getting married?
Jean: Constantly.
'I haven't spoken to my wife for almost 25 years.'
'Why not?'
'She doesn't like being interrupted.'
A policeman pulled over an old man driving down the freeway and said, 'Sir, did you know your wife fell out of the car about half a mile back?'
The old man said, 'Thank god for that; for a moment there, I thought I was going deaf!'
Why a man would want to marry one wife is a mystery.
Marrying two is a bigamystery.
What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Husband: Did you marry me just because my father died and left me a fortune?
Wife: No, I would have married you whoever left you a fortune.
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job: he still has the same boss.
There is at least one fool in every married couple.