This is page 2 of 9. Showing jokes 11 to 20
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the graveyard.
Submitted by: William
Two women who hadn't seen each other for five years, met while out shopping. One woman said, "I heard that you got married."
"Yes" said the second woman, "I married a lawyer, and an honest man too."
"Oh," said the first woman, "Isn't that bigamy?"
"You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?"
"Absolutely! What's your second question?"
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bull?
The lawyer charges more.
A man goes to his lawyer and says, "I would like to write my will, but I don't know
how to go about it."
The lawyer replies, "No problem, just leave it all to me."
The man looks rather upset, and exclaims, "Well I knew you'd take a slice of it, but I'd was hoping to leave a little to my children too!"
Submitted by: Billy
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A lawyer, anxious to make money from the accident could not get near the car. Being such a smart guy, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I'm the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?
Lawsuits.
What an amazing lawyer he was. Once he got a jury so confused, they sent the judge to jail.
Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.
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