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Jokes About Idiots - Page 3 - With 6 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more jokes about stupid idiots.
This is page 3 of 3. Showing jokes 25 to 30
Did you hear about the idiot who was given two just weeks to live?
He decided to take one week in May and the other week in October.
He decided to take one week in May and the other week in October.
An idiot heard that a fortune could be made by working as a lumberjack in Canada. So, off he goes. After some weeks, he arrives at a lumberjack-camp and asks the foreman for a job.
Foreman: "Okay sonny, but you'll have to do a test first. If you can chop down 100 trees tomorrow you're hired."
So, next day, the idiot gets his chainsaw and happily saws away all day.
However, when trees are counted the idiot only has 98..... "Oh well" says the foreman, "You'll get another chance tomorrow"
So, next day, same story, 99 trees.
"I don't believe this" says the foreman, "A big strong fella like yourself should be able to cut down 200 trees in a day. You know what? You get one more chance, and I'll join you to show you the trick of it".
So, next day, the idiot and the foreman go into the forest. Upon arrival at a nice open spot the foreman puts the chainsaw on the ground, and starts the engine.
The idiot says: "What's that! Where's the noise coming from?"
Foreman: "Okay sonny, but you'll have to do a test first. If you can chop down 100 trees tomorrow you're hired."
So, next day, the idiot gets his chainsaw and happily saws away all day.
However, when trees are counted the idiot only has 98..... "Oh well" says the foreman, "You'll get another chance tomorrow"
So, next day, same story, 99 trees.
"I don't believe this" says the foreman, "A big strong fella like yourself should be able to cut down 200 trees in a day. You know what? You get one more chance, and I'll join you to show you the trick of it".
So, next day, the idiot and the foreman go into the forest. Upon arrival at a nice open spot the foreman puts the chainsaw on the ground, and starts the engine.
The idiot says: "What's that! Where's the noise coming from?"
Did you hear about the idiot who tried to hijack a submarine?
He demanded ten million dollars and a parachute.
He demanded ten million dollars and a parachute.
Two idiots decide to go duck hunting so they get up early one morning, and go off to the swamps with their red hats, duck calls, and their trusty hunting dog. Even with all conditions favorable for a good day, by day's end they headed home without a single duck!
The first idiot said "Do you think that maybe the duck calls didn't work?"
The second replied, "No, the duck calls were fine. I don't think we were throwing the dog high enough!"
The first idiot said "Do you think that maybe the duck calls didn't work?"
The second replied, "No, the duck calls were fine. I don't think we were throwing the dog high enough!"
Two idiots are going down a street. One digs a hole the second fills it in. They carry on down the street and again one digs a hole and the second immediately fills it in.
A passerby is bemused by this and goes over to the idiots and asks them "What on earth is going on?"
One of the idiots replies saying, "Our mate who plants the trees is off ill today."
A passerby is bemused by this and goes over to the idiots and asks them "What on earth is going on?"
One of the idiots replies saying, "Our mate who plants the trees is off ill today."
After an accident on a building site when an idiot had his ear chopped off, the doctor tells him not to worry, it could be sewn back on easily.
The idiot says to the doctor "You can't do that that, it's not my ear, mine had a pencil behind it."
The idiot says to the doctor "You can't do that that, it's not my ear, mine had a pencil behind it."
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm God.When did this start?
I first created the sun, then the earth.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.Who's there?
Al.
Al who?
Al live here - so you'd better let me in.
Why Did?
Why did the Labrador dog cross the road?To try and find a barking space.
Girlfriends
She has the face of a professional lemon taster.British Jokes
Would you rather have a Steinway or a Henway?What's a Henway?
About a pound and a half.
Pigs
Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?In a hog cabin.
Old Age
You know you are getting old when you turn back to look at the little old lady you are helping to cross the road and realize that she is your wife.