Jokes About Girlfriends - Page 1

Boyfriend: You look good enough to eat.
Girlfriend: I do eat. Which restaurant shall we go to?

Fred: My girlfriend has just left on a cruise to the West Indies.
George: Jamaica?
Fred: No, she wanted to go.

I wouldn't say my last girlfriend was ugly, but if she had a body to match her face, her parents could have entered her for the Grand National horse race.

Did you hear what happened when the Eskimo girl fell out with her boyfriend?
She gave him the cold shoulder.

When her boyfriend actually agrees with her, she lets him have his own way.

Jack: I'd go through anything for you.
Mary: Just the door will be enough.

Jenny: Why are all your boyfriends called William? Joan: That's because I'm a bill collector.

I call my girlfriend "Sugar" because she is so refined.

While he was away on business, Brian thought it would be a good idea to buy a present for his girlfriend. "How about a bottle of perfume?" he asks the cosmetics assistant in a department store. She shows him a sixty-dollar bottle.
"That's a bit too expensive," says Tim, so she returns with a smaller bottle for thirty dollars. "That's still too expensive," Brian complains. Growing annoyed, the assistant shows him a tiny fifteen-dollar bottle.
'What I mean,' said Tim, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap."
So the clerk handed him a mirror.

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I'm always talking about Batman.
What a joker she is.