Home / Jokes About Girlfriends / Jokes About Girlfriends - Page 2
Jokes About Girlfriends - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are some jokes and funny stories about girlfriends, ranging from lighthearted quips to funny stories that show just how funny normal relationships can be.
This is page 2 of 8. Showing jokes 13 to 24
My girlfriend's teeth are like stars. They come out every night.
My brother asked this girl, 'Would you like my hand in marriage?'
The girl said, 'Alright, but who's getting the rest of you?'
The girl said, 'Alright, but who's getting the rest of you?'
My last girlfriend was so ugly that when she worked in a pet store, people kept asking how big she would get.
I used to invite this gal to my apartment to help me make hamburgers.
I called her my grille friend!
I called her my grille friend!
My girlfriend walked into a shop to buy curtains.
She went up to the salesman and said, 'I want those curtains in pink, the size of my computer screen.
The salesman said, 'Computers don't need curtains.'
My girlfriend said, 'Hellooo, I have windows!'
She went up to the salesman and said, 'I want those curtains in pink, the size of my computer screen.
The salesman said, 'Computers don't need curtains.'
My girlfriend said, 'Hellooo, I have windows!'
GILLIE: Will I lose my looks as I get older?
WILLIE: With luck, yes.
WILLIE: With luck, yes.
Six girls are on vacation without their boyfriends. They are walking on a beach when they are attracted to the sight of a beautiful six-story hotel.
Wishing to check in immediately, they walk in. They are greeted by a charming hotel manager who tells them: 'Go up to each storey, and you will see a sign. If you like what it says, we'll put you up there.'
So the six girlfriends take the lift to the floor above, where they see this sign: 'All the men here have no money and are short and ugly.' The girlfriends laugh and move off.
On the next floor, this sign meets them: 'All the men here have money, but are short and plain.' The girls continue on their way.
At the third level, they see this sign: 'All the men here have money and are tall but ugly.' The girls smile and move on.
On the fourth floor, the sign says: 'All the men here have money and are tall and handsome.' This excites the girls, and they are about to go get registered when they remember that there is one more story above. So they head up there.
At the top, they see this big sign: 'There are no men here. This floor was built to prove that there is no way to please a woman.'
Wishing to check in immediately, they walk in. They are greeted by a charming hotel manager who tells them: 'Go up to each storey, and you will see a sign. If you like what it says, we'll put you up there.'
So the six girlfriends take the lift to the floor above, where they see this sign: 'All the men here have no money and are short and ugly.' The girlfriends laugh and move off.
On the next floor, this sign meets them: 'All the men here have money, but are short and plain.' The girls continue on their way.
At the third level, they see this sign: 'All the men here have money and are tall but ugly.' The girls smile and move on.
On the fourth floor, the sign says: 'All the men here have money and are tall and handsome.' This excites the girls, and they are about to go get registered when they remember that there is one more story above. So they head up there.
At the top, they see this big sign: 'There are no men here. This floor was built to prove that there is no way to please a woman.'
I need some advice on what could be a life-changing decision.
I've suspected for quite some time that my girlfriend is having an affair. There are the usual signs. The phone rings, I answer, and someone hangs up.
Her current habit of going out "with the girls" has become frequent, but when I inquire about which girls, she always replies, "Just some friends from work, you won't know them."
She always walks down the drive, even though I can hear a car starting up as if she got out of the car around the corner. I always watch for her taxi returning home. How come? Is that not a taxi?
I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was, and she went completely berserk, screamed that I should never touch her phone again, and asked why I was checking up on her.
My girlfriend and I had never discussed the subject. I decided to check up on her last night when she went out again, even though I suppose deep down I really didn't want to know the truth.
I decided I was going to hide behind my car, which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she got out of. While crouched behind my car, I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
Therefore, what ought I to do? Will I be better off buying parts from Halfords and trying to fix it myself or taking it to a body shop?
I've suspected for quite some time that my girlfriend is having an affair. There are the usual signs. The phone rings, I answer, and someone hangs up.
Her current habit of going out "with the girls" has become frequent, but when I inquire about which girls, she always replies, "Just some friends from work, you won't know them."
She always walks down the drive, even though I can hear a car starting up as if she got out of the car around the corner. I always watch for her taxi returning home. How come? Is that not a taxi?
I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was, and she went completely berserk, screamed that I should never touch her phone again, and asked why I was checking up on her.
My girlfriend and I had never discussed the subject. I decided to check up on her last night when she went out again, even though I suppose deep down I really didn't want to know the truth.
I decided I was going to hide behind my car, which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she got out of. While crouched behind my car, I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
Therefore, what ought I to do? Will I be better off buying parts from Halfords and trying to fix it myself or taking it to a body shop?
My girlfriend phoned me and said. 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!
Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.
If my girlfriend said what she thought, she'd be completely speechless.