Jokes About Drunks - Page 2

Two drunks were staggering home one night when they passed the local brewery which was lit up. One said 'It's good to know that no matter how much we drink they are still able to supply enough.'
'Maybe,' said his friend, 'but I see that we have them working nights'.

The drunker I sit here, the longer I get.

Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk!
Alcoholics go to meetings!

1 Tequila
2 Tequila
3 Tequila
Floor.

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.

I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
No problem

"I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get."

"Surely you're not going to drive that car," said the policeman, advancing on the motorist who had just staggered out of a bar.
"Well, offisher, do you think I'm in any condition to walk?"