Jokes About Dogs - Page 5

A city slicker drives through a little town, and stops at a gas station to fill up. Going into the station to pay he sees a man playing checkers with a dog. "Utterly fantastic", he gasps, "a dog who plays checkers. You could take him to the city and make piles of money with him." After his next move the man looks up and says, "Awh, he ain't so smart. I can beat him two times out of three."

What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog?
One wears a suit, and the other just pants.

If Fairbanks Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs, what would it be called?
Dogless Fairbanks!

The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water. Eager to show off this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next hunting trip. Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell, the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned it to his master.
"Notice anything?" the owner asked eagerly.
"Yes," said his friend, "I see that fool dog of yours can't swim."

A woman seated at the movies was surprised to find, sitting in the two adjacent seats, a man with his arm around a sheep dog. All through the movie, she noticed the dog watching the picture with apparent understanding snarling when the villain appeared, yelping happily at the funny parts. At the end of the movie, she tapped the man on the shoulder. "I just can't get over how much your dog enjoyed the movie," she said. "It surprises me too," the man answered, "He absolutely despised the book."

A circus trainer was riding his horse around the circus ring when a little dog jumped into the ring and shouted:
'Hello, there!'
'Hello,' replied the surprised trainer, 'I didn't know that dogs could talk.'
His horse turned his head and said:
'You learn something new every day, don't you?'

My brother said, 'Mum, I'm feeling sick as a dog.'
My mum said, 'Hang on, I'll call the vet.'