Home / Jokes About Dieting - Page 1

Jokes About Dieting - Page 1

Here are some jokes about diets and dieting. There are 15 jokes in this category.

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Jokes About Dieting
Wife: "I can't understand why I gain so much weight, I eat like a bird!"
Husband: "Yeah! you eat twice your own weight every day.
Jokes About Dieting
Two kids are in the bathroom. One notices the bathroom scale and tries to step on it but is held back by the other kid. "Don't step on it!"
"Why not?"
"It must be painful or something because every time mommy steps on it she screams."
Jokes About Dieting
Have you heard about the new garlic diet?
You don't actually lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance.
Jokes About Dieting
Joan: I'm on a new diet and exercise program. Every morning after breakfast I go horseback riding.
Amy: Is it working?
Joan: Sort of, so far the horse has lost ten pounds.
Jokes About Dieting
George: Boy! My diet must definitely be working.
Joe: Why do you say that?
George: I can finally see the numbers on the bathroom scale when I look down.
Jokes About Dieting
Old dieters never die, they just waist away.
Jokes About Dieting
Each time I manage to lose weight somehow it is always able to find me again.
Jokes About Dieting
Overweight just sorta of snacks up on you.
Jokes About Dieting
Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."
"Fantastic," Mary replied. "I'll come with you."
Jokes About Dieting
You know you're overweight and need to diet when your knees buckle but your belt won't.

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