Home / Jokes About Dieting / Jokes About Dieting - Page 2
Jokes About Dieting - Page 2
Here are more jokes about diets and dieting.
This is page 2 of 2. Showing jokes 11 to 15
I'm so overweight I tried dieting - but the only thing I lost was my temper!
Diet doctor: a man whose patients are wearing thin.
Helen: Did you hear about the girl who went on a coconut diet?
Mary: Did she lose much weight?
Helen: Not a pound, but you should see her climb trees!
Mary: Did she lose much weight?
Helen: Not a pound, but you should see her climb trees!
Customer: I'd like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, and lots of whipped cream.
Waiter: Would you like a cherry on top?
Customer: Good heavens no! I'm on a diet.
Waiter: Would you like a cherry on top?
Customer: Good heavens no! I'm on a diet.
The dieter's motto.
If at first you don't recede, diet again.
If at first you don't recede, diet again.
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
Joe: Last night the lion-tamer at the circus was attacked by his lions.
Brian: Was he clawed?
Joe: I don't know what is name was.
Brian: Was he clawed?
Joe: I don't know what is name was.
Squirrels
Why do sqirrels always 'live happily ever afterwards'?
Because they have furry tail ends.
Because they have furry tail ends.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Termite.
Termite who?
Termite's the night!
Termite.
Termite who?
Termite's the night!
Dogs
My pet dog is a doberman pincher. All day he goes around pinching dobermans.
Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Crispin.
Crispin who?
Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples.
Crispin.
Crispin who?
Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples.
Light Bulbs
How many Radio 1 DJs does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.
Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.