Jokes About Christmas - Page 6

Two idiots walked deep into a forest searching for a Christmas tree. After spending hours in the deep snow and biting wind, one idiot turned to the other and said, "I'm going to chop down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juicy.
Juicy who?
Juicy who threw the snowball at me?

What do you call a snowman in the summertime?
A puddle!

Why are Christmas trees not very good at knitting?
Because they are always dropping their needles.

Who is the biggest problem for Santa in his workshop?
The elf and safety officer.

What does a sheep that doesn't like Christmas say?
Baaaa Humbug.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rapture.
Rapture who?
Rapture Christmas presents yet?

What will Father Christmas suffer from if he ever gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia.

What does Santa call his wife on his income tax form?
A dependent Claus.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.