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Christmas - A holiday in which neither the past nor the future is of as much interest as the present.
What song do Liverpool fans sing at Christmas?
"Yule never walk alone."
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas and a flying saucer?
A UF ho ho ho!
Why is a Christmas pudding just like the ocean?
it's full of currants!
Who brings Christmas presents to the baby sharks?
Santa jaws.
Where do elves put their money?
In the snow bank.
Why is Santa looking for a new job?
Because he got the sack.
What do Santa's little helpers learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What does a sheep that doesn't like Christmas say?
Baaaa Humbug.
Why is a lion in the desert like Father Christmas?
Because it has sandy claws.
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