Jokes About Christmas - Page 11

I wouldn't say he is stupid, but he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war that is held at Christmas.

What do you call a man who claps his hands at Christmas time?
Santapplause.

Where do snowmen dance?
At a snowball.

If you have a fear of Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?

Every Christmas I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.

Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.

I don't care who you are, get those reindeer and that sleigh off my roof.

Fred: What kind of Christmas did you have?
Tom: Oh, the same as last year, thirty minutes eating turkey, mince pies and Christmas pudding, followed by three days in bed recovering.

Steve: What's your father getting for Christmas?
Dave: Bald and fat.

Who used to take presents to the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes?
Santa Clues.