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Jokes About Car Drivers
We're ready to hit the road with a collection of amusing car-related jokes and stories! Whether you're a seasoned road warrior or just learning how to drive, these amusing events and anecdotes are sure to make you laugh out loud. There are 34 jokes in this category.
This is page 1 of 3. Showing jokes 1 to 12
A child asked their mother, ‘Mommy, what happens to a car when it is too old and damaged to use?’
’Someone sells it to your father’.
’Someone sells it to your father’.
An irate speeder said, 'Why don't you people get organized? First, you take away my driver's license, and the next day, you ask to see it!'
For sale is a saloon car that belongs to an elderly lady in excellent shape.
My car has an anti-theft device - it's appearance.
What do you call a guy who's missed ten car payments? A pedestrian.
There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now, his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red 'S' on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red 'S' on the car. Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go zooming down the track, I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man in a Jaguar passed a mini that had broken down by the side of the road. Being a kindly driver, he stopped and fixed a tow-rope to it and began towing it to the nearest garage.
After 10 minutes of towing, a Porsche passed them at high speed. The Jaguar driver would not be outdone by a Porsche, so, forgetting that he had a mini in tow, he slammed his foot down. The Jaguar and Porsche indulged in a high-speed race down the road, the Skoda and its occupant trailing wildly at the rope's end, frantically trying to attract their attention and failing.
A Police car saw them and gave chase. The Police driver radioed back to Headquarters, 'Sarge, you'll never believe this, I've just seen a Porsche and a Jaguar neck and neck doing 150 mph - and a bloke in a mini flashing his lights, blowing his horn and trying to overtake them!'
After 10 minutes of towing, a Porsche passed them at high speed. The Jaguar driver would not be outdone by a Porsche, so, forgetting that he had a mini in tow, he slammed his foot down. The Jaguar and Porsche indulged in a high-speed race down the road, the Skoda and its occupant trailing wildly at the rope's end, frantically trying to attract their attention and failing.
A Police car saw them and gave chase. The Police driver radioed back to Headquarters, 'Sarge, you'll never believe this, I've just seen a Porsche and a Jaguar neck and neck doing 150 mph - and a bloke in a mini flashing his lights, blowing his horn and trying to overtake them!'
Just as I was getting into my car, and this guy asked, 'Can you give me a ride?' I enthusiastically replied, 'Absolutely, you look fantastic! The possibilities are endless, so seize the moment and go for it!'
I once drove to the South of France in six days. It took me four days to get there and two days to fold up the road maps.
A worn and very ancient Ford pulled into the local garage. 'Could you let me have half a gallon of petrol?' asked the old fellow at the wheel.
'Why don't you fill her up, now that you're here?' said the attendant.
'Well,' said the old chap, 'she might not run that far.'
'Why don't you fill her up, now that you're here?' said the attendant.
'Well,' said the old chap, 'she might not run that far.'
A careful driver is one who has just spotted a speed camera.
Overheard by a chauffeur: 'James, I'm now ninety and rather bored with life, so I want to commit suicide. Kindly drive over the next cliff.'