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Jokes About Car Drivers - Page 2


Here are more jokes and funny stories about car drivers and driving.

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Jokes About Car Drivers
A man in a Porsche 911 stops at a stoplight and a guy on a scooter pulls up next to him. The guy on the scooter leans over and takes an admiring look at the inside of the Porsche and tells the driver that he has a really hot car. Well, the light turned green so the driver of the Porsche decides to show off and peels out and leaves the guy on the scooter in the dust. Then, all of a sudden, he sees the scooter zip on past him. So, being a little cocky, the Porsche driver floors it again and blows past the guy on the scooter. A few seconds later, he again sees the scooter zip on past him. So now he's a little irate as well as a little mifted that that scooter keeps passing him so he floors it until he is going over 100 mph. He thinks to himself that there would be no way that scooter could catch him now, but then looks in the rearview mirror and sees that scooter starting to catch up. He then decides to find out what that scooter really is and slams on his brakes. Then the scooter crashes into the Porsche. After the dust settled, the Porsche driver sees the scooter driver lying in the road and goes over to him and askes how he could go as fast as the Porsche on a little wimpy scooter... The dying man replied, "I can't really, but my suspenders were caught on your side mirror...."
Jokes About Car Drivers
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Jokes About Car Drivers
A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, "What will you take: 30 days or $30?" The man thought and replied, "I think I'll take the money."
Jokes About Car Drivers
A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
''I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the, back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'
Jokes About Car Drivers
Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'
Jokes About Car Drivers
Overheard to a chauffeur: 'James, I'm now ninety and rather bored with life, so I want to commit suicide. Kindly drive over the next cliff.'
Jokes About Car Drivers
A careful driver is one who has just spotted a speed camera.
Jokes About Car Drivers
A dilapidated and very ancient Ford pulled into the local garage. 'Could you let me have half a gallon of petrol?' asked the old fellow at the wheel.
'Why don't you fill her up, now that you're here?' said the attendant.
'Well,' said the old chap, 'she might not run that far.'
Jokes About Car Drivers
I once drove to the South of France in six days. It took me four days to get there and two days to fold up the road maps.
Jokes About Car Drivers
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."

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