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Jokes About Blondes - Page 7 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about blondes.
This is page 7 of 11. Showing jokes 73 to 84
One day, a blonde sat in a bar next to a redhead. They were sitting there having a good time, and the news was turned on.
The woman reporter shouted, 'A man is at the edge of a cliff, and he is planning to jump!'. Then the redhead leans over to the blonde and whispers in her ear, 'I bet you $50 that the man will jump!' The blonde responds, 'That's a bet you have there!'.
So, both women stared at the news waiting to know what would happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the redhead and hands her the $50. The redhead, feeling guilty, said, 'I can't take your money. I saw the news earlier this morning; I knew he was going to jump off that cliff.'
And the blonde says, 'Well, I did too! But I never would have thought the man would do it again!'
The woman reporter shouted, 'A man is at the edge of a cliff, and he is planning to jump!'. Then the redhead leans over to the blonde and whispers in her ear, 'I bet you $50 that the man will jump!' The blonde responds, 'That's a bet you have there!'.
So, both women stared at the news waiting to know what would happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the redhead and hands her the $50. The redhead, feeling guilty, said, 'I can't take your money. I saw the news earlier this morning; I knew he was going to jump off that cliff.'
And the blonde says, 'Well, I did too! But I never would have thought the man would do it again!'
A blonde goes to an office for a job interview. The interviewer begins by going over the essentials. "Well, Miss, please tell us how old you are?" The interviewer starts with the basics. 'So, Miss, please tell us your age?'
The blonde takes her time, carefully counting on her fingers for a good thirty seconds before finally answering, 'Ehhhh... 22!'
To break the ice, the interviewer tries another simple question. "And could you please tell us how tall you are?"
The girl gets up and pulls out a measuring tape from her purse. Then she wraps one end of the tape around her foot and pulls it up to her head. She looks at the number and says, "Five foot six!"
Things aren't looking too great, so the interviewer asks some basic questions that the interviewee won't need to think too hard about. 'Just to double-check, could you please provide us with your name?'
The blonde answers, "MANDY!" after bobbling her head back and forth for ten or so seconds while silently mouthing something to herself.
The interviewer seems pretty confused at this point and decides to ask, "What were you up to when I asked for your name?"
'Ohhhh, that!' replies the blonde, 'I was just running through that song - 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'
The blonde takes her time, carefully counting on her fingers for a good thirty seconds before finally answering, 'Ehhhh... 22!'
To break the ice, the interviewer tries another simple question. "And could you please tell us how tall you are?"
The girl gets up and pulls out a measuring tape from her purse. Then she wraps one end of the tape around her foot and pulls it up to her head. She looks at the number and says, "Five foot six!"
Things aren't looking too great, so the interviewer asks some basic questions that the interviewee won't need to think too hard about. 'Just to double-check, could you please provide us with your name?'
The blonde answers, "MANDY!" after bobbling her head back and forth for ten or so seconds while silently mouthing something to herself.
The interviewer seems pretty confused at this point and decides to ask, "What were you up to when I asked for your name?"
'Ohhhh, that!' replies the blonde, 'I was just running through that song - 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'
A blonde was suffering from sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and told her that she had acute appendicitis.
The blonde yelled at the doctor, 'I came here for medical care, not to get a silly compliment!'
The blonde yelled at the doctor, 'I came here for medical care, not to get a silly compliment!'
One day, I went over to my neighbor's house. She was a blonde, and for some reason, she was mad at the world. She was in the bathroom, and the door was locked. I said, 'Come on, you know you don't want to do this!' She said, 'I do wanna do this; nobody wants me alive anyways.' For some reason, I believed her and pushed through the door. She had a rope tied to her ankles. I asked, 'Aren't you trying to hang yourself?'
'Yes, what's your point?'
'Well, usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their necks'
'Yeah well, I tried that, But then I couldn't breathe.'
'Yes, what's your point?'
'Well, usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their necks'
'Yeah well, I tried that, But then I couldn't breathe.'
A blonde was getting fed up with all the blonde jokes, so she decided to color her hair brown. After that, she went for a drive in the countryside and saw a shepherd guiding his sheep over the road.
"If I guess the number of sheep here, may I keep one?" she asked the shepherd.
He replied, 'Sure!'
Out of the blue, she blurts out, '352!'
Though shocked, he honors his promise and lets her choose a sheep. She searches and searches till she finds the cutest one.
"If I can guess the true color of your hair, may I please have my dog back?" he asks.
"If I guess the number of sheep here, may I keep one?" she asked the shepherd.
He replied, 'Sure!'
Out of the blue, she blurts out, '352!'
Though shocked, he honors his promise and lets her choose a sheep. She searches and searches till she finds the cutest one.
"If I can guess the true color of your hair, may I please have my dog back?" he asks.
There were two brunettes in the front of a truck and three blondes in the back. They rolled off a cliff into the ocean. The brunettes survived, but the blondes died. Why?
They couldn't get the tailgate open.
They couldn't get the tailgate open.
Bambi, a blonde freshman at UCLA in her fourth year, sat in her US government class. The lecturer questioned Bambi if she understood the significance of Roe v. Wade.
Bambi pondered the question and finally said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before crossing the Delaware.'
Bambi pondered the question and finally said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before crossing the Delaware.'
Have you heard about the blonde who decided to get rid of her weight loss video? She realized that the people on the video weren't losing weight either!
Do you know what is black and blue and found in a ditch?
A man who told one too many blonde jokes.
A man who told one too many blonde jokes.
How did a blonde become injured when raking leaves?
She fell from the tree!
She fell from the tree!
Why did the blonde cross the road?
I don't know, and neither does she.
I don't know, and neither does she.
What do you call a blonde with a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue.
A rebel without a clue.