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What do you call a blonde with a brain cell?
GIFTED.
Submitted by: Luke Clarke

Julie the blonde was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy-woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure that sounds great!" said Julie. "Well, uh, how much do you want?" asked the man. "Is fifty bucks OK?" Julie asked. "Yeah that's great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife. "Well she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 15 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie. "Oh, and by the way,"said Julie, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
There was a woman who was sick of her husband taking the mick out of her because she was blonde, so she decided that when he went out, she'd decorate the front room. When her husband got home, he found her lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. The husband asks, why you wearing two coats? She said because it said on the tin of paint for best results put on two coats.
Submitted by: Nicole Mclaren
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?
Q: What does a blonde make for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alpabetical order.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q: What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A: A Golden Retriever.
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