Home / Jokes About Blondes / Jokes About Blondes - Page 6
Jokes About Blondes - Page 6
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about blondes.
This is page 6 of 10. Showing jokes 61 to 72
A blonde phones her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a fantastic jigsaw puzzle, but I can't seem to get started.
Her boyfriend asks, 'What should it be when it's finished?'
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'
Her boyfriend agrees to come over and help with the puzzle. She greets him warmly and guides him to the table where the puzzle is laid out. He examines the pieces for a time, then glances at the box before turning to her and saying,'First and foremost, no matter what we do, we won't be able to assemble these pieces into something like a tiger.' He held her hand and said, 'Second, I'd suggest you relax; let's have a cup of coffee, then ...........' he sighed, 'Put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.'
Her boyfriend asks, 'What should it be when it's finished?'
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'
Her boyfriend agrees to come over and help with the puzzle. She greets him warmly and guides him to the table where the puzzle is laid out. He examines the pieces for a time, then glances at the box before turning to her and saying,'First and foremost, no matter what we do, we won't be able to assemble these pieces into something like a tiger.' He held her hand and said, 'Second, I'd suggest you relax; let's have a cup of coffee, then ...........' he sighed, 'Put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.'
A woman was in her front yard, moving her lawnmower, when her blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little while later, she came out, and again, she checked her mailbox and angrily stormed back into her house. Just as she was preparing to mow the grass, the blonde emerged again, strode over to the mailbox, unlocked it, and forcefully shut it. Puzzled by her actions, the woman asked, 'Is something wrong?'. She replied, 'There certainly is!.......
My stupid computer keeps saying 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
My stupid computer keeps saying 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
One day, a blonde had the same weird dream every night, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) What is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hallway.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any writing on it?
Blonde: Yes, it does.
Doctor: And what does it say?
Blonde: It says 'Pull'
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) What is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hallway.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any writing on it?
Blonde: Yes, it does.
Doctor: And what does it say?
Blonde: It says 'Pull'
For the first time, a blonde visited Washington, DC, and wanted to see the Capitol building. Since she couldn't find it, she asked a police officer for help - 'Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?'
"At this bus stop, wait for the number 54 bus," the police replied. You will arrive there immediately. The police left after she thanked him, and he drove off.
When the officer returned to the same area three hours later, the blonde was still standing at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, 'To get to the Capitol building, I said you should wait here for the number 54 bus, which was three hours ago! So why are you still waiting?'
The blonde replied, 'Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!'
"At this bus stop, wait for the number 54 bus," the police replied. You will arrive there immediately. The police left after she thanked him, and he drove off.
When the officer returned to the same area three hours later, the blonde was still standing at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, 'To get to the Capitol building, I said you should wait here for the number 54 bus, which was three hours ago! So why are you still waiting?'
The blonde replied, 'Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!'
A blonde had a dent in her car and decided to take it to the repair shop. After the repairman noticed the woman's blonde hair, he decided to have a little fun.
So he told her to take it home, blow in the tailpipe, and the dent would pop out.
So she went home and did this for fifteen minutes until the blonde's blonde neighbor approached and inquired what she was doing.
'I'm trying to pop out this dent. But, it's not working.'
'Duh. You have to roll up the windows first, stupid!'
So he told her to take it home, blow in the tailpipe, and the dent would pop out.
So she went home and did this for fifteen minutes until the blonde's blonde neighbor approached and inquired what she was doing.
'I'm trying to pop out this dent. But, it's not working.'
'Duh. You have to roll up the windows first, stupid!'
In a snowstorm, a blonde driving a car got lost. But she didn't panic because she recalled what her father had told her. The best course of action in the event of a snowfall is to wait for a snow plow to pass and follow it.
Sure enough, a snow plow came by pretty soon, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally, the driver got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her to follow a plow if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm.
He nodded and said, "All right, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot." Do you want to go to K-Mart with me now?
Sure enough, a snow plow came by pretty soon, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally, the driver got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her to follow a plow if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm.
He nodded and said, "All right, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot." Do you want to go to K-Mart with me now?
A girl was showing off how well she knew the names of state capitals. "Go ahead and ask me; I know all of them," she says with pride. "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" asks a friend.
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
A blonde goes out and buys a pistol because she has a sneaking suspicion that her boyfriend is cheating on her. She arrives at his place without warning, and as she opens the door, she discovers him cradled in the arms of a woman with fiery red hair. The blonde is irate. When she opens her purse to remove the pistol, she is stricken with grief. She points it at her head. 'No, honey, don't do that!' her boyfriend yells at her. 'Shut up, you're next!' the blonde replies.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were at a dance together. They found an old hag when they checked their makeup in the bathroom. 'I am a witch, and if you look in the mirror and say one rumor that you hear about you, and that rumor is true, then you will get one wish. If it is not true, then you will get sucked into Mirrorland for the rest of eternity. Do you understand?' They all did, and the brunette went first. 'I think I am the prettiest girl at school.'
'That is true. Your wish is granted.' And the brunette left the dance in a red Ferrari. Then came the redhead. 'I think I am the richest girl at school.'
'That is true. Your wish is granted.' And the redhead left the dance with a hot boyfriend. Then came the blonde. 'I think...' Before she could finish, the witch said: 'You lie!!' And she was sucked into the mirror.
'That is true. Your wish is granted.' And the brunette left the dance in a red Ferrari. Then came the redhead. 'I think I am the richest girl at school.'
'That is true. Your wish is granted.' And the redhead left the dance with a hot boyfriend. Then came the blonde. 'I think...' Before she could finish, the witch said: 'You lie!!' And she was sucked into the mirror.
One day, a brunette was driving home from work, and as she got out of the car, she heard her blonde neighbor crying. 'Oh my god, what's wrong?' the brunette asked. 'My mother just died!' said the blonde crying out. Feeling sorry for the blonde, the brunette comforted her the whole day. The next day, the brunette saw the blonde crying outside. 'Now what on earth is wrong?!' said the brunette. 'Oh, it's terrible...my sister called, and her mother died too!'
One time, this blonde girl was at a vending machine. She would stick a quarter in, push the button, and a soda would come out and put it on the top. She did this a few more times before a man asked why she kept doing this, and she said, 'Because I'm winning.'
The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was upset by a recent incident.
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and looted. She phoned the police at once to report the crime.
A K9 unit on a routine patrol in the area was the first on the scene after the police dispatcher announced the call over the radio.
When the K-9 officer arrived at the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde came out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head, and wailed, 'I get home from work to discover all my stuff taken; I call the police for aid, and what do they do? They send a blind cop!
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and looted. She phoned the police at once to report the crime.
A K9 unit on a routine patrol in the area was the first on the scene after the police dispatcher announced the call over the radio.
When the K-9 officer arrived at the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde came out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head, and wailed, 'I get home from work to discover all my stuff taken; I call the police for aid, and what do they do? They send a blind cop!