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Jokes About Blondes - Page 4 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about blondes.
This is page 4 of 11. Showing jokes 37 to 48
What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A Golden Retriever.
A Golden Retriever.
What's a blonde's favorite wine?
'Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!'
'Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!'
How do you confuse a blonde?
Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
What did the blonde say to the physicist?
Why, I just
love
nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?
Why, I just
love
nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.
You don't. They're born that way.
Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.
They can't find the zipper.
There was a woman who was sick of her husband taking the mick out of her because she was blonde, so she decided that when he went out, she'd decorate the front room. When her husband got home, he found her lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. The husband asks, why are you wearing two coats? She said because it said on the tin of paint for best results, put on two coats.
Julie, the blonde, was becoming increasingly desperate for cash. She decided to go to the more attractive, wealthier neighborhoods in town and search for odd jobs as a handywoman. At the first residence Julie went to, a man answered the door and told her, "Yeah, I have a job for you." "How would you like to paint the porch?" 'That sounds wonderful,' Julie replied. 'Well, how much do you want?' asked the man. 'Is fifty bucks OK?' Julie asked. 'Yeah, that's great. You'll find the paint and ladders in the garage.'
The man went back to his house, where his wife had been patiently listening. Fifty dollars! She was asked by the wife if she knew the porch went around the entire house. "Well, she must have been; she was standing right on it!" stated her husband.
After about 15 minutes, Julie knocked on the door. The astonished homeowner heard her say, "I'm done." The man was shocked. 'You painted the whole porch?' Julie said, "Yeah, I even had paint left over, so I put on two coats!" The man took money out of his wallet to pay Julie. Julie added, "Oh, and by the way, that's not a Porch, that's a Ferrari."
The man went back to his house, where his wife had been patiently listening. Fifty dollars! She was asked by the wife if she knew the porch went around the entire house. "Well, she must have been; she was standing right on it!" stated her husband.
After about 15 minutes, Julie knocked on the door. The astonished homeowner heard her say, "I'm done." The man was shocked. 'You painted the whole porch?' Julie said, "Yeah, I even had paint left over, so I put on two coats!" The man took money out of his wallet to pay Julie. Julie added, "Oh, and by the way, that's not a Porch, that's a Ferrari."
What do you call a blonde with a brain cell?
GIFTED.
GIFTED.
What do UFOs and smart blondes have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any.
You keep hearing about them but never see any.
How do you keep a blonde girl busy all day?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
A brunette was walking down the middle of the street bobbing her head, saying '88, 88, 88, 88.' A blonde saw her and asked her why she did it. The brunette said it was fun and that she should try it. So they were both walking down the middle of the street saying '88, 88, 88' All of a sudden a huge semi-truck came along, and the brunette jumped out of the way...
A brunette was walking down the middle of the street bobbing her head saying '89, 89, 89'.
A brunette was walking down the middle of the street bobbing her head saying '89, 89, 89'.