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Jokes About Airlines And Flying - 11 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
We are delighted to share with you a collection of jokes and hilarious stories about airlines and flying. Whether you're a frequent flyer or just someone who occasionally boards an aircraft, you've probably encountered some of the strange, amusing, or simply unusual circumstances that can occur while traveling by air. So sit back in your seat, relax, and enjoy our collection of smart and entertaining jokes about airlines and air travel. There are 11 jokes in this category.
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Have you ever noticed that turbulence is caused by serving coffee on an airplane?
There are two types of luggage - carry-on and lost.
Two old ladies were aboard an airliner for their first flight. One asked the cabin attendant if they would be flying faster than sound.
'No,' smiled the attendant, 'not this flight.'
'Oh, I'm glad,' said one of the ladies. 'We want to talk.'
'No,' smiled the attendant, 'not this flight.'
'Oh, I'm glad,' said one of the ladies. 'We want to talk.'
Why do they have mistletoe hanging at the airport?
So you can kiss your luggage goodbye.
So you can kiss your luggage goodbye.
Nervous Passenger: How often do planes of this type crash?
Captain: Only once, Madam.
Captain: Only once, Madam.
During a transcontinental flight, a passenger looked out the window and noticed that two of the jet's engines were on fire. He began shouting, and pretty soon, the rest of the passengers were in the throes of panic. The pilot suddenly appeared in the doorway to the passenger compartment with a parachute strapped to his back.
'Don't worry, folks,' he yelled cheerfully. 'I'm going for help.'
'Don't worry, folks,' he yelled cheerfully. 'I'm going for help.'
You know it's a 'no frills' airline when...
... All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He says, 'Just once.'
No movie. Didn't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, and he's demanding to be let off the plane.
... All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He says, 'Just once.'
No movie. Didn't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, and he's demanding to be let off the plane.
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get underway.
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot used a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot uses a guide dog. Both are wearing sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react, thinking it must be a practical joke. After a few minutes, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane accelerates rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: 'You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!'
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot used a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot uses a guide dog. Both are wearing sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react, thinking it must be a practical joke. After a few minutes, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane accelerates rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: 'You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!'
There were three men on a plane: a Scotsman, an Irish man, and a Chinese man. They were flying over Ireland, and the Irish man said I see Ireland, and then they flew over Scotland, and the Scotsman said I see Scotland. Then they were going through a storm, and the Chinese man went to the cafeteria in the back, and he dropped a plate on the floor and said I see China.
After taxiing down the runway, the airliner suddenly stopped, then turned around and returned to the gate. About an hour later, it finally took off. A worried passenger asked the flight attendant, 'What was the problem?'
'The pilot was very concerned about the noise one of the engines was making,' explained the flight attendant, 'and it took us a while to find another pilot.'
'The pilot was very concerned about the noise one of the engines was making,' explained the flight attendant, 'and it took us a while to find another pilot.'
The pilot of a small private plane ran out of fuel and decided to put it down on a road. He managed to coast into a gas station and said to the attendant, 'Fill 'er up!'
The attendant just looked at the pilot.
'Bet you don't get too many airplanes asking for fuel,' said the pilot.
The attendant replied, 'True, most pilots use the airport just over there.'
The attendant just looked at the pilot.
'Bet you don't get too many airplanes asking for fuel,' said the pilot.
The attendant replied, 'True, most pilots use the airport just over there.'