Ugly
MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?
Ufo
What do you get if you cross a baby with a UFO?
An unidentified crying object.
Ufo
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas and a flying saucer?
A UF ho ho ho!
Ugly
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Ugly
I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.
Uncles
My uncle is a man of letters. He works for the post office.
Understand
Their marriage is based on trust and understanding.
She doesn't trust him, and he can't understand her.
Umbrellas
Why does Santa need to carry a big umbrella with him?
Because of all the rain-deer.
Uncles
Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all of his uncles were ants.
Uncles
Why was the baby ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.