London
Did you hear about the man from London who became very thirsty when visiting his relatives in Vancouver?
He drank Canada Dry.
Listen
Joe: Oh, I wish I'd listened to my mother!
Will: Why? What did she tell you?
Joe: I don't know! I didn't listen!
Listen
Why didn't the little pig listen to his father?
Because he was an old boar.
Listen
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Live
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Miri.
Miri, who?
Miri me and we'll live happily ever after.
London
What breed of dog is always tired when it is in London?
An English sleep dog.
Lions
Did you hear about the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride.
Lions
'Would you rather a lion ate you or a gorilla?'
'I would rather the lion ate the gorilla.'
London
Ten-year-old's reply to 'What famous London landmark has a figure with only one eye?': 'Cleopatra's needle.'
Lions
Why is a lion in the desert like Father Christmas?
Because it has sandy claws.