Engineers
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply let Marketing explain that 'Dead Bulb' is a benefit.
Engineers
How many software programmers are required to change a lightbulb?
Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.
Engineers
How many IBM engineers are required to change a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing promote that 'Dead Bulb' as a feature.
Engaged
Fred goes into a hotel and says to the receptionist, 'I'd like a room, please.'
Receptionist: 'Single, Sir?'
Fred: 'Yes, but I am engaged.'
Employees
The fifteen-minute morning coffee break is when your employees take a break from doing nothing.
Employees
Boss: Has your supervisor told you what to do?
New employee: Yes, sir, he told me to wake him up if I saw you coming.
Everyone
What is everyone doing at the same time?
Growing older.
Engineers
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. 'We'll document it in the manual.'
Engineers
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply define darkness as an industry standard.
Embarrassing
Who do you call the two people who cause the most embarrassment at the annual school parents' evening?
Mum and dad.