Musicians
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified.
Idiots
Did you hear about the florist who had two children?
One is a budding genius, and the other is a blooming idiot.
Bakers
Why did the baker work overtime?
Because he kneaded the dough.
Monsters
Which monster is very untidy?
The Loch Mess Monster!
Fishing
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working
Fish
My uncle said, 'The RSPCA are going to close down my fish and chip shop.'
I said, 'Why's that?'
He said, 'They think I'm battering the fish.'
Stupid
How many jerks who ask dumb questions does it take to change a light bulb?
Change it to what?
Cars
What do cars do at the disco?
Brake dance.
Pigs
Why is ink like a pig?
They both can be found in a pen.