Bacteria
He supports bacteria, it's the only culture he has.
Cannibals
A sign over a cannibal's hut: 'I never met a man I didn't like.'
Cops
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.
Dentists
What does a dentist call x-rays?
toothpics.
Music
Hostess: They tell me you love good music.
Guest: Yes, I do. But never mind, keep right on playing.
Notice
I've got a bad stomach.
Well, just keep your coat on, and no one will notice.
Mosquitoes
People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.
Marriage
Missing: wife and dog. Reward for dog.
Boxers
How do you get a boxer to laugh?
Start telling a joke and then hit him with the punchline.