Joke Topic - 'Work'

A good executive is a man who is happy to share the credit with the person who did all the work.

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

Dave: Do you like going to work?
Patrick: Yes. And I like going home, too. It's the part in between that I hate.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

How You Know You Are A High Tech Worker

It's dark when you drive to and from work.
You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
You have sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
Your resume is on a flash drive in your pocket.
You learn about your layoff on CNN.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
Your supervisor hasn't the ability to do your job assignment.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.
Only 10% of the people you work with (your boss included) - know what they are doing.
Vacation is something you rollover to next year.
Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers" or "does something with satellites."
You have read this entire list and understood it.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

I like my job it's the work I hate.

I like work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

I used to work in a bank, but then I lost interest.