My uncle said, 'I've got this woodpecker with no beak. What shall I call him?'
I said, 'A headbanger.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Santa Claus
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws.
The Ark
Q. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
A. none. Moses was not on the ark.
Horses
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bour.
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor.
I can't stop sneezing. What can you give me?
A tissue?
Oh no, it's happening to you as well.
Cinderella
Why was Cinderella get dropped from the football team?
She ran away from the ball.
Ancestors
Joe: I can trace my ancestors all the way back to Columbus.
Bud: Back to 1492?
Joe: No, to Ohio.
Bigamy
Why a man would want to marry one woman is a mystery
Marrying two is a bigamystery.
Maths
Why was the maths book looking so sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Bed
Why did the man run around his bed?
To try and catch up on his sleep.