My wife is a great lover - of cream cakes.
My wife is a magician. She can turn anything into an argument.
My wife's other car is a broomstick
One neighbor was talking to another neighbor in his garden when an automobile horn blew. He jumped as though very scared. His host asked why he jumped when he heard an automobile horn blow.
He replied: Last week, my wife ran away with the chauffeur, and whenever I hear an automobile horn blow, it frightens me.
I'm afraid he's bringing her back.
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. 'Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, 'but every morning, I pass your house on my way to work and couldn't help noticing that every day you hit your husband on the head with a loaf of bread.'
'That's right.'
'Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.'
'Well, today is his birthday.'
The kindest thing I can say about my wife is that her in-laws are much nicer than mine.
What do you call a man whose wife has just divorced him?
A divorce-he.
What does a bee call his wife?
Honey.
What's the wife of a hippie called?
Mississippi.
Why a man would want to marry one wife is a mystery.
Marrying two is a bigamystery.