A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.
Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."
First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "Ok but mom get's two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom get's two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Angry
Did you hear about the angry inch-worm?
He was angry because he was told he had to convert to the metric system.
Scottish
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
Lose Weight
Each time I manage to lose weight somehow it is always able to find me again.
Christmas
Q. What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
A. Sandy Claws.
Woodworm
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a woodworm.
Doctor: How boring.
Peanut Butter
What do you get if you cross a vampire with some peanut butter?
A vampire that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
Married
Some women get even with their husbands by staying married to them.
Doctors
The doctor said, 'Is your cough better now?'
My brother said, 'Oh yes much better. I've been practicing for weeks.'
Threatening
Threatening letters - man asks for long sentence