One time an idiot was at a vending machine. He would stick a quarter in, push the button, a soda would come out and he would put it on top of the machine. He did this a few more times before a man asked why he kept doing this, and he said, "Because I'm winning."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Fleas
Why was the mother flea very sad?
Because her children were all going to the dogs.
Cats
Did you hear about the cat that fell in the yogurt?
He's a sour puss now.
Blondes
Why shouldn't blondes be given a coffee break?
It takes too long to retrain them.
Music
What musical instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.
Cops
Yo' momma's so fat, she was standing at a corner and the cops came over and said, "Hey! Break it up!"
People
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there? Weirdo.
Weirdo who?
Weirdo the deer and the antelopes play?
Bees
How do bees cut wood?
They use a buzz saw.
Pizza
What food did the cannibal order as his take-away?
Pizza with everyone on it.