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Joke Topic - 'Widow'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Widow'.

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
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When Big Peter McFlannel dies in Glasgow, his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the newspaper and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"
The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
The old woman replies "5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok".
So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads "Peter McFlannel, fae Parkheid, deid".
The clerk feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper over the counter again.
The clerk then reads, "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Paranoid

Did you hear about the paranoid with low self-esteem?
He thought that nobody important was out to get him.
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A Rooster

What do you get if you cross a rooster with a duck?
An animal that wakes you up at the quack of dawn.
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Lawyers

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but he'll bill you for five!
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Mouse

Carol: I heard a mouse squeak.
Steven: Well, what do you want me to do? Oil it???
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Christmas

Never mind the star - get those camels off my lawn!
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Horses

What was the name of the small horse that fought windmills?
Donkey Oatey.
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Elves

Q. What did the elf use to make him taller?
A. He used elf raising flour.
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Squirrels

How do you catch a squirrel
You climb up a tree and act like a nut.
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Honk

Honk If Anything Falls Off

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