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Joke Topic - 'Widow'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Widow'.

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
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When Big Peter McFlannel dies in Glasgow, his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the newspaper and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"
The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
The old woman replies "5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok".
So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads "Peter McFlannel, fae Parkheid, deid".
The clerk feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper over the counter again.
The clerk then reads, "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Monsters

What do you get if you cross a monster with a Boy Scout?
A creature that scares old ladies across the street.
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Death

A fate worse than death is better than dying
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Roads

What did the road say to the bridge?
You make me cross.
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Read

If you can't read
Watch this space
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Intelligent

Is there intelligent life on earth? Yes but I'm only visiting
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Marry

Wife: To think that I had to marry you to find out just how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have realised that when I asked you to marry me.
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Idiot

Bill: What kind of idiot do you think I am?
John: I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Robbery

Did you hear about the music store that was robbed last night?
The thieves made off with the lute.
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Christmas Eve

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve?
Well, that wraps it up for another year.

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