One day Wee Hughie bought a bottle of fine whiskey and while walking home he fell.
Getting up he felt something wet on his pants.
He looked up at the sky and said, "Oh lord please, I beg you let it be blood!"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
A Hunch
Bill: I have a hunch.
David: Really? I thought you were just round-shouldered.
Pets
'I call my pet Tiny,' said Peter.
'Why do you call him Tiny?' asked one of his friends.
'Because he's my newt.'
Zebras
What is red and black, red and black, red and black?
A zebra with sunburn.
Dracula
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.
Teachers
Teacher: "What is the outer part of a tree called?"
Pupil: "I don't know sir."
Teacher: "Bark, boy bark."
Pupil: "Woof-woof."
Remind
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
Parents
What are your parents' names?
Mama and papa.
Dracula
What type of TV does Dracula own?
A plasma.
Frogs
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.