A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boys thinks about this, and then says,
"Well then why is the groom wearing black..."
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Did you hear about the two satellite dishes that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?
Wedding - a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Barman
What did the barman say when Charles Dickens ordered a Martini?
Olive or twist?
Father Christmas
Why is a lion in the desert like Father Christmas?
Because it has sandy claws.
Vampires
What sport do vampires like to watch?
Bat-minton.
Pilot
Did you hear about the pilot who went on sick leave?
He came down with the flu.
Fish
How do fish get to school?
They go by octobus.
Mice
What has three tails, twelve legs and can't see?
Three blind mice.
Astronauts
Why is an astronaut like an American footballer?
They both like to make safe touch-downs.
Julius Caesar
What did they say to Julius Caesar When he went into a pub?
'Ale, Caesar?'
Teachers
Old teachers never die. They just lose their class.